Thursday, February 7, 2013

A Natural Kind of Black Love

A woman's hair is her crowning glory, and naturalistas embrace that label with pride. But what about the men in our lives who watch us wash, condition, and care for our tresses? Do they love our hair the way we do?

Fortunately, I've been blessed to marry a man who has encouraged me on every step of this hair journey so far. He loves my curly mane, and he reaps the benefits of supporting my choice in our marriage. We are proud to show what Black love means to us by how we conduct ourselves in our marriage, and he fully embraces my natural hair. Here's the story of us, as well as tips for encouraging your significant other to share the natural love.

My husband Darmon and I met almost 11 years ago, and we clicked almost instantly. As our relationship grew more serious, he'd often ask questions about the hours I'd spend in the salon getting my hair done. One day while watching me wince in the bathroom from fresh chemical burns, he asked, "Why do you do this to yourself? Why not just wear your hair natural?" Now, back in the olden days of the early 2000s, I couldn't fathom not slapping a perm on this mane! I brushed him off time and time again with lame excuses, but he didn't stop asking.

Fast forward to 2011: needing a drastic change, I cut my long, relaxed hair into a short bob. Hubby told me how sexy my new cut was, but after watching me collect yet another set of chemical burns, he brought up my returning to natural. This time however, I didn't shoot the idea down. By October, I was ready to give up the creamy crack for good. Although Darmon's "See, I told you!" got old really fast, he was right. Touching my natural curls for the first time changed my perspective, and it made me realize just how much I loved my Black King for loving me in my natural state.

Here are a few ways that my baby loves me and my natural hair:

He washes my hair: Lord have mercy when that man washes my curls! Not only do I feel extra pampered, our weekly "hair appointment" helps us to build intimacy and trust between one another.

He gives his honest opinion on styles that I try, and he encourages me not to give up after yet another twist-out goes awry!

He asks questions: It's important to understand that whether you're aware of it or not, your man travels on your natural journey right along with you. I will answer any question he asks because I know he cares enough to want to know more.

He compliments my hair on a regular basis: this was especially important during my transition phase. I'd stepped completely out of my comfort zone by giving up the perm, and there were days when I felt anything but beautiful, but his affirmations of my natural beauty helped to put things in focus.

These are just a few of the ways my sweetie shows his love, and he sets an example for others to follow. My husband isn't perfect by any means, but the love we share makes him perfect for me. The ways that he shows appreciation of my curls, kinks, and waves makes me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world... naturally.

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